Most nights, I sleep pretty well. When I don’t, there’s usually a good reason- something’s weighing heavy. I’m sure you can relate. Recently, I went through one such “dark night of the soul.” I’ll skip ahead to say that at times like these, I turn my burden over to God. I chuckle to myself sometimes, right in the middle of that half-asleep, thought-loop rumination and worry time, because it reminds me of those model-trains we had as kids, chugging around and around the track in constant, furious motion, but ultimately going nowhere. I got bored with those trains early on, and feeling stuck is even less enjoyable at this age, especially at 3 a.m. But I have formed an intentional habit, over many years, of turning the burden over to God. God does not promise to remove our problems, but He does promise to help us carry them. Jesus says "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Mathew 11). The kind of yoke Jesus refers to would have been familiar to his agrarian audience. It’s a harness that allows two oxen to pull together to ease the work of hauling a heavy load, that might otherwise be too heavy to move for just one. Jesus promises to be pulling with us, side by side.
On the night I’m writing about, I reached for a small book that has been on my beside table for 20 years. It is “Praying with the Psalms” by Eugene Peterson. I typically open it randomly. This night I turned to Psalm 104: “The Earth is Satisfied.” If what I had opened to hadn’t resonated, I would have continued to turn the pages until something did, or picked up a Bible or some other Scripture-based material for relief. But this night, Peterson’s words hit the spot. He writes, “The very environment in which we live is evidence of provision for our basic needs; fulfillment is built into the basic structure of creation. God the maker is also God the satisfier.” In his accompanying prayer, Peterson writes, “I turn my dissatisfactions over to you, O God. I know that every need I experience is a stimulant to come to you. I know that you have a way of dealing with each so that I live completed, not deprived; praising not complaining.” Now, I don’t know whether Peterson’s words soothe you or not, but they did me. My restless mind fell into a peaceful sleep, not too long after. When I woke up, the problem had not disappeared, but I was hopeful and energized to work on a solution. I feel better, just by doing something. Each morning 10-15 faith-related messages arrive in my In Box that I subscribe to. Typically, I rush through most of them unread. That morning there were two that offered spot-on, practical advice that I’m trying to absorb and apply. To sum it up: when I’m overwhelmed, it’s my practice to turn my worry over to God and to ask for help. Something like this: “Dear God, help me. I can’t do it alone. Show me what to do. I trust You.” I sometimes ask for a peaceful mind, and I ask for God’s guidance on the next steps. And I keep my eyes open for the answers. I lean on God. I depend on God. I trust God. And I don’t expect a miracle. As the most beloved Psalm of all promises, Psalm 23- The Lord is My Shepherd, God walks with us through the dark valley, not over or around it. I share this with you because even we glass-half-full kind of folks, have our moments. Trust these steps, they work. The musical pairing is “Praying for Relief.” Until next time, stay safe, be brave and keep walking in the light.
Praying for Relief
The floor boards are creaking
underneath my feet
it’s 3 o’clock in the morning Lord
and I just can’t sleep
there are things that can’t be fixed
some things we can’t control
and even though we try
some things we can’t let go
Oh Lord let me be brief
tonight I’m just praying for relief
Oh Lord let me be brief
tonight I’m just praying for relief
Out in the distance
pretty lights twinkle and glow
but those streets are tough down there
lives just come and go
now the house is quiet
buddy’s following at my feet
tucked safe in her room down the hall
my little girl’s asleep
I reach for my wife
as I climb back into bed
drifting off to a peaceful sleep
better dreams in my head
Ellen- thank you. She's not so little any more!
Loved this. Those 3:00 hours. I call them haunting thoughts that need prayer or or letting go or placing them at His feet….one or some or all of the above.
If it persists instead of counting sheep I focus on breathing in the Holy Sprit and the breath out is letting go.
Much love to you Pam “and the little girl sleeping down the hall. “. Ellen